The Habits That Won't Stick Are Trying to Tell You Something

Here’s a question we all seem to ask on a daily basis: why can’t I just get _____ done?

There’s something in that blank for everyone. Maybe it’s taking better care of your health. Maybe getting more sleep. Maybe finishing a project (or ALL the projects). 

Whatever it is, you always seem to feel stalled out. 

You've tried the habit tracker, the accountability partner, the streak apps. And still, the habit or routine you need to get this done doesn't stick. 

Here's a radical thought: What if your resistance isn’t coming from a lack of willpower and dedication? What if it’s not that you don’t want to achieve the goal, it’s just your inner voice speaking to you? 

Where Are You Seeing Resistance?

We're in week five of Authentic You, and this is where things get real. This is the week we pause, step back, and ask: Where are you seeing resistance?

Because at this point, we are deep in the process of realigning our identities. And that’s no small thing. 

We ask this not to highlight the failure to act, but to highlight two things resistance can tell us. 

Resistance Is Information, Not Failure

There are two main reasons we feel resistance to something: either because it is highly aligned with us and our ultimate purpose, or because it’s not aligning in some way. 

If it’s alignment, the resistance comes from fear. Because change is scary. It’s uncomfortable. Overthinking is real. Whatever it is we want to do might be in alignment with who we ultimately want to be, but it isn’t aligned with the current versions of ourselves.

Another reason is lack of alignment. When we feel resistance, it’s sometimes telling us, “this doesn’t fit.” 

Either way, it’s data. It’s information we can use on the journey. And although it’s a roadblock, it doesn’t have to become a permanent obstacle. 

Fear Versus Misalignment: How to Tell the Difference

Fear feels like: "What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail? What if people judge me?" Fear is usually about stepping into something new, something that matters to you. It's the resistance that comes right before a breakthrough.

Misalignment feels like: "This just doesn't fit. I don't care about this. This feels forced." Misalignment is your inner wisdom saying, "This isn't for me—at least not in this way, not right now."

Both are valid responses that deserve your attention, but they require different approaches.

When it's fear, the answer is to move through it. 

When it's misalignment, the answer is to find something that fits.

Moving Through Fear: My Writing Story

Let me tell you about my relationship with writing.

For years, I wanted to create a consistent writing routine. That’s what authors do, right? They write. 

I'd set ambitious goals: write a book in a month by writing for 2-3 hours every day. And every single time, I'd freeze. 

Yeah, not surprising, right? 

The first problem was misalignment. First of all, who goes from 0 writing hours to 2-3 in a day? That’s a recipe for disaster from the start. It wasn’t aligned with what I had to give and what I could achieve. So instead of doing anything—anything at all—I did nothing. 

I told myself I wasn't disciplined enough. That I didn't have what it takes. That maybe I just wasn't a writer.

But even after I realized the absolute ridiculousness of the routine I was trying to start, the fear wasn’t going to let me do it. 

“Write a book” is a big task. It’s terrifying, really, even for someone who has done it before. Fear was hitting me from all sides. 

Fear of not being good enough. Fear of putting something out there and being judged. Fear of starting and then failing to keep going. 

Here’s what I finally learned this year (and what changed everything for me): you don't overcome fear by thinking about it less. You overcome fear by doing the thing anyway. This is what we show you how to do in our Habits & Routines Reset workshop. And honestly, it works.

Just Start. Don't Overthink It.

I stopped focusing on the end goal of “writing a bestselling book.” Sure, it’s there in the back of my mind, but it’s not top of mind when I sit down to write. 

Instead, I focused on the daily goal of just doing.

I stopped asking, "Is this good enough?" and started asking, "Did I show up today?"

I wrote without editing. I let the whole process be messy, imperfect, and “in progress.”

Spoiler alert: It worked after 15 years of this struggle. Once I was in it—once I stopped overthinking and just started doing—the fear subsided.

Not because the fear disappeared completely, but because “doing” became bigger than fearing. And better yet, the slow and steady rhythm of making progress felt incredibly good, and more powerful than the fear. 

Be Flexible. Experiment. Make It Yours.

Here's the other piece that made all the difference: flexibility.

I let go of what a "real" writing routine was supposed to look like. I stopped trying to force myself into someone else's system.

Some days I write 2,000 words. Some days it's 200. Some days I don’t even write. I just muse about my characters or plan out a scene or work on a query letter for an agent. 

And it doesn’t matter, because all of that is moving the needle. 

When you give yourself permission to experiment (to try things, adjust, and try again) you stop fighting yourself. You stop forcing routines that don't fit and start building something sustainable. Something that's yours.

So, What's Your Resistance Telling You?

If there's a habit you keep trying to build and it's not sticking, pause for a moment. Get curious instead of critical.

Ask yourself:

• Is this fear? Am I resisting because it matters and I'm scared of what happens if I actually do it? 

• Or is this misalignment? Am I resisting because this approach, this routine, this expectation just doesn't fit who I am?

If it's fear, give yourself permission to move through it. Not by thinking about it less, but by doing it anyway. Start small. Focus on today's action, not tomorrow's outcome. Let it all be messy and imperfect.

If it's misalignment, give yourself permission to try something different. Maybe the morning routine everyone swears by isn't for you. Maybe the productivity system that works for them doesn't work for you. That’s not failure, but deep self-awareness.

Make It Your Own

And the only way to figure out what works for you is to stop comparing yourself to everyone else's methods and start paying attention to your own data.

Your quirks, your rhythms, your weird way of doing things—these are not flaws; they’re your design.

So if the habit won't stick, stop blaming yourself and start asking better questions. Experiment. Adjust. Try again.

Because on the other side of that resistance is clarity. And clarity is where the real work begins.

Ready to explore what's really holding you back? Join us for our next session of the Habits & Routines Reset, a three-hour workshop where we help you kickstart those small, slow changes that are going to build the person you want to become.